I am now at the stage of pregnancy where random people walk up to me and say “congratulations!” I feel like I have a giant beach-ball strapped to the front and it is hard to believe there are still approx. 15 weeks ahead of growing bigger. It feels like someone else’s body (Mr. Nishkanu says, “yeah, it’s the little one’s now!”). It’s got some of the uncanny out-of-controlness of adolescence, that is for sure. Hey, how did that show up? Some things I have noticed recently…

Last week I had two occasions where I walked into the bathroom at work, looked in the mirror, and saw that I had a stain on my shirt near the waistline. That’s how I realized that there is a part of my stomach I can’t see anymore. I call it “the dark side of the moon.” And I’ve gotten more diligent about pulling the shirt out from my body after meals so I can make sure I’m presentable.

I started prenatal yoga last Sunday. I thought it would be kind of weird to be around other pregnant ladies but actually it was nice not to be the only beach-balled person in the room. In prenatal yoga I learned 3 things: (1) god, I have gotten more stiff over the last couple of weeks (2) it is possible to be pregnant and still be fairly flat-chested – man, that really surprised me after watching in horror as my own chestular area continues to expand (3) it is not possible to be pregnant and not have a giant butt – thank goodness because that is another thing I have started to feel a little sensitive about (though I tell myself it is just a storage area of future baby snacks).

It has been very hot here for the last week (in the 90’s regularly, and we have no A/C) and I am discovering why pregnant people complain about being pregnant in the summer, which until now has not been an issue for me. As soon as it gets to be over about 80 degrees I just wilt. Last weekend I had big plans for everything I would do around the house but in the heat the most I could manage was to sit on the sofa and sweat. At work (where we do have A/C) I am just fine but as soon as I get home I have about half an hour to be a human before all systems break down and I can literally do nothing. Sleep is also hopeless. Fortunately this weekend it is SUPPOSED to be in the high 70’s so hopefully I can be myself a bit more. Otherwise I think I will have to engage in that popular prenatal summertime activity, going to the pool.

A lot of people like to talk to me about pregnancy now which generally hasn’t been as awful as I expected (and fortunately a lot of people are still willing to talk about other things). The one thing I still have a lot of trouble with is people who say “this is so exciting!” I say “yeah” but without any enthusiasm. In my head I am thinking “scarey as sh*t is more like it!” And I am beginning to get to the point where what I find scarey is not only the prospect that the little one could still have some kind of fatal accident but also how our lives are going to change once it is here, whether I will have sleep deprivation for years, etc. Not that that makes me sorry that it is coming, don’t get me wrong, because whatever is ahead of us sure beats the crap out of what is behind us, but it is an awesome responsibility.

Follow-up on the previous post: A couple people commented on my midwife’s statement that infertility history is a reason why I might be more prone to C-section. This is not because of any mechanical connection between crap eggs and crap uterus. The reasoning of the midwife was that “this is a premium pregnancy” (in her words) and that they would not want to take any risks with it. In my mind the “risk” of 6 weeks of recovery while taking care of a newborn + increased future risk of miscarriage is a pretty big risk, but apparently that particular midwife does not feel the same way (there are 4 at the practice and it is a crapshoot which one you get; from what I hear the one I saw the first time is the most interventionist). Also the reasoning that because I have an infertility history I would care more if my baby dies than someone who doesn’t I find a bit suspect. Yes, I feel like we appreciate the little one a lot more because it was so hard to get him/her but I think at this point in a pregnancy pretty much anyone would be devastated if something happened to their little one.



  1. Ana said

    I’ve heard from others that their OBs think history of IF and/or doing IVF makes the pregnancy “high-risk” & more likley to necessitate c-section. Medically, I do not understand why.
    I hear you on the heat. Ugh. We have A/C, thankfully, but forget about walking around or running errands when it is >90 outside. Energy gets sucks out immediatley.
    Funny you mentioned prenatal yoga, I just spent 30 minutes online trying to find ANY prenatal water aerobics and/or yoga classes in my (large, urban) city and NOTHING! the Y was water aerobics (not prenatal, but general), but only at 10am on weekdays. I guess its for those that do not work.

  2. Well, I asked my OB specifically about this because your midwife’s comment intrigued me. FWIW, she said:

    – okay, technically you’re high risk because you’re 40+, but you’re doing really well and I don’t really consider you high risk

    – IVF (DE or otherwise) does not necessarily mean C-section. She was like ‘where you are you getting that BS?’ Deciding on whether C-section or not won’t come until much later in the game.

    Anyway, every doc/OB/midwife seems to have their own ideas. You just gotta’ go with who you trust.

    I can relate to the feeling of impending awesome responsibility. I think about it a lot. Keep meaning to write about it, but it’s almost too big to cover in a blog post.

    ‘dark side of the moon’ > love that! LOL I noticed this week that my linea negra is now all the way ABOVE my belly button up to my boobs. Amazing changes

    You sound like you’re doing great, in spite of the heat. I get that here occasionally, and yes it is hard. I just plunk on the bed/couch in front of a fan with ice water. A pool sounds good to though… 😀

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