The Wait

The conventional wisdom is that the period after your due date is one of total impatience.   You’re uncomfortable, the story goes, sick of being pregnant, you want your baby to be there.  Certainly, that’s what everyone around me is telling me… “you must be so tired of waiting!”

In actuality, that’s not how I feel at all.  There are some things that make me nervous about being postdates, one is that something could happen to the little one still at the last minute (and as I typed that it squirmed around inside as if to say “no worries, everything is fine!”) and the other is that I will get increasing pressure from my care providers to induce.  But otherwise?  I am fortunate that I don’t feel too uncomfortable, I have been spared the swelling and backaches that are common in late pregnancy.  I waited a long, long time to be pregnant and at this point a week or two more doesn’t seem like a big deal.

In fact, this time feels like a special, magical time, “the time that was not supposed to be.”  Every day that I get up and go to work, I think to myself, “what shall I do today that I didn’t expect to be able to do?”  And there is no pressure to do anything since, for the same money, I could be not working any more – everything I do is just a little unexpected bonus.  In the evening?  “Honey, what do you think about going out to dinner?”  “Sure, it might be the last time…” (we have now had many “last time” dinners and several brunches… and I’m not complaining about it).

The people around us seem to have more problems with it.  The only people who don’t bug me about “can’t you not wait to have the baby out?  don’t you feel anything? are you having any contractions?” are the ones who have, thankfully, forgotten when my due date was supposed to be – one of the advantages of having your due date early in the month is that a lot of people only remember “some time in December” and so they haven’t joined the bug train yet.

My mom is great, she sent me an email on my due date saying “I just want you to know I am not going to bug you every 5 minutes about how the baby is doing.  I know how annoying that is.  We will wait to hear from you that something has happened.”  I replied with effusive thanks and asked her if she could please spread the memo to everyone I know…

My MIL, on the other hand, is a different story.  Yesterday she called me at work…

MIL: What’s going on?  Is anything happening?

N: Nope.

MIL: Where is Mr. Nishkanu? [Aha, that explains why they called me… usually they bug him with this stuff.]

N: I don’t know, I guess he is at work.

MIL: Are you at work?

N: Yep.

MIL. Oh. Huh.  You know, you should go to the doctor.  They can tell you when your baby will come. [She has been bugging me for a while to find out how effaced/dilated I am… and tell her, of course.]

N: Actually, they can’t say it very precisely.  Anyway, the baby will come whenever it comes.

MIL: But we want to know when it will come.

N: It could still be a while, you have to be patient.

MIL: But we aren’t patient!  Anyway, do you know what the gender is yet? [My in-laws are semi-convinced that we have known the gender all along, just aren’t telling them… which in all honesty is something we WOULD do, but in actuality haven’t.]

N: Nope, no idea.

MIL: Mr. Nishkanu won’t tell us the names.  Will you tell us the names?

N: Nope.

MIL: He said you hadn’t agreed on a boy’s name.  Did you finally decide now?

N: I’ve decided, I can’t speak for him.

MIL: But you won’t tell us what it is?

N: Nope. We’ll call you when something is happening, until then there is nothing going on.

I have to say I was cracking up to myself over the course of this entire conversation.

Actually, that last thing I told my MIL was a lie.  We will not call them WHEN something happens, we will only call them AFTER everything has happened.  Because otherwise Mr. Nishkanu is going to get a phone call every 30 minutes in the delivery room asking for updates and if he can please post some photos on the internet of what is happening…

We have a solemn pact that No One gets to find out I am going into labor except for (a) the doula and (b) the midwives.  Mr. Nishkanu has been practicing his lies in case there are inconveniently timed phone calls.

Caller: What’s that moaning sound in the background?

Mr. Nishkanu: Oh, Nishkanu just stubbed her toe.

The wait continues…

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2 Comments »

  1. Ana said

    Oh boy I feel your pain with the parentals. I can’t wait for it.
    In fact, it is the one reason I really really hope to go on or before my due date.
    Good luck! I will be excited to hear the news whenever it does occur!

  2. Pufferfish said

    Wow, and I thought my in-laws were bad! We also agreed not to tell anyone the sex or discuss names and it’s driving my MIL crazy. We don’t know the sex ourselves but we *might* know something–either way, we still wouldn’t be telling anyone. I’m with you all the way on your silent treatment. You have to do what is best for you!

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